Behind these brown eyes

bumme @ 2005-03-27T23:40:00

2005-03-27T21:43:50Z

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?
Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?

Last public entry, shame though

2004-12-16T09:22:35Z

Perfect Girl - Sarah Mclachlan

Am I faithful, am I strong, am I good enough to belong
In your reverie a perfect girl
Your vision of romance is cruel and all along I played the fool
All your expectations bury me

[Chorus]
Don't worry you will find the answer if you let it go
Give yourself some time to falter
But don't forgo know that you're loved no matter what
And everything will come around in time

I own my insecurities I try to own my destiny
That I can make or break it if I choose
But you take my words and twist them 'round
Til I'm the one who brings you down
Make me feel like I'm the one to blame for all of this...

[Chorus]
Don't worry you will find the answer if you let it go
Give yourself some time to falter
But don't forgo know that you're loved no matter what
And everything will come around in time

You need everybody with you on your side
Know that I am here for you but I hope in time
You'll find yourself alright alone
You'll find yourself with open arms
You'll find yourself you'll find yourself in time

The riot in my heart decides to keep me open and alive
I have to take myself away from you
'Cause I can't compete I can't deny there's nothing that I didn't try
How did I go wrong in loving you

[Chorus]
Don't worry you will find the answer if you let it go
Give yourself some time to falter
But don't forgo know that you're loved no matter what
And everything will come around in time

bumme @ 2004-12-15T21:34:00

2004-12-15T20:35:46Z

I can't find it even if I want it to.

bumme @ 2004-12-14T15:12:00

2004-12-14T14:12:50Z

Somebody who wasn't supposed to read my journal, read it.
And I guess I said some bad stuff about that person. It must have been a long long time ago. But it is a livejournal and I post stuff I feel at that right moment. Most of the time its completely different the next day. So I didn't mean to hurt you. You know I like you. So for what it's worth I am very sorry.

bumme @ 2004-12-13T20:04:00

2004-12-13T19:06:05Z

Shouldn't we be making any effort needed to
stop our dreams from fading?

bumme @ 2004-12-12T12:42:00

2004-12-12T11:43:29Z

I have to sing this afternoon.
Wish me luck.

bumme @ 2004-12-12T01:20:00

2004-12-12T00:21:12Z

I'm with you 'till the end
Though I cannot see your face.
I comfort you with words
Though I long for an embrace.

bumme @ 2004-12-10T18:47:00

2004-12-10T17:48:29Z

We'll walk all the way down this road
We'll hold each other's hand
We'll watch all the colors and their fades
And sometimes we'll swallow discomfort to be happy

Love is all, all we want
A shower of pure joy

For a while we'll stay in the warmth
Then as we know it'll snow
So we'll dream and we'll rest face to face
And sometimes we'll stay there in silence
like we never spoke

Love is all, all we want
A shower of pure joy

I can shine like the sun if you'll be the only one
Waterfall where my light will shine on

I can shine like the sun if you'll be the only one
Waterfall, where my light will shine on
Pure joy, a shower of pure joy

Love is all, all we want
A shower of pure joy
I can shine like the sun if you'll be the only one
Waterfall, where my light will shine on

North & South

2004-12-10T13:50:43Z

Wallpaper

2004-12-10T12:43:52Z

bumme @ 2004-12-08T23:21:00

2004-12-08T22:31:16Z

I joined the BBC costume drama community. Seems everybody is actually from the UK. I use their pictures so might as well join. Don't want to use the spell check every time I post there, not going to post I think. I don't think I even know how to post in a group. So why join? I have absolutely no idea! Oh yeah I forgot I adore costume dramas. This was interesting.

Felt wired and tired almost the entire day and now I don't want to go to sleep, I am weird.

Ah spell check, no spelling errors found, wow I am incredible.

bumme @ 2004-12-08T22:50:00

2004-12-08T21:52:15Z

Beautiful trees
Tower above
Look up, look up
Into the dark blue sky
Wish upon a star does she
Follow me, follow me!
Whispers the wind
Fading into the night
Running through the wild
Follow your heart,
Spirit moves you
Spinning, dancing
The Spiral
The faerie dance
Does she, does she
Fallen to the earth
Soft, warm
Like a mother's kiss
Embrace the Spirit
The wild, the Fae
See it, live it
Everyday
Now back through the dreamworld
There to stay
Only for but one more day

bumme @ 2004-12-07T20:07:00

2004-12-07T19:11:49Z

Heaven knows-Anouk

To this generation
We cannot forget
The ones that we have loved
The ones we left behind
Don't be afraid to reach out
This world is changing fast
For those who take a stand
Heaven knows
We rieve in our life
Don't let us pay the price
So much Grief
In our life
It will fade over time
To this generation
It's hard to get along
And we cannot deny
This struggles through this life
It won't do no good to wait
We're running out of time
For those who take a stand
Heaven knows
We Grieve, in our life
Don't let us pay the price
So much Grief, in our life
It will fade over time
Guilty for we turn the other cheek
Guilty for not willing to achieve
Come on happiness
What's keeping you so long
How can we forget

bumme @ 2004-12-07T19:48:00

2004-12-07T18:52:56Z

Now listening to Lovesong for a Vampire mehehe. This brings back memories. Me sitting on the ground in my tiny bedroom making wild gestures and singing along to it like a lunatic. I still remember most of the lyrics, how cool.

bumme @ 2004-12-07T16:33:00

2004-12-07T15:31:02Z

I think I have to wash them a couple of times now, maybe they will be completely grey then. It's actually a nice colour LOL.

bumme @ 2004-12-07T16:12:00

2004-12-07T15:22:21Z

Huh?
My collegue next to me just said: well that looks stupid, jeans in 2 different colours pointing at my jeans. And I now notice too that the top is darkblue and the bottom is grey. Something must have gone wrong with the painting in the store, cause I do remember far far in my mind that it was blue once. Huh???????????????. So I washed a couple of times and now its almost grey, yeah that figures. Weird very weird.

bumme @ 2004-12-07T11:54:00

2004-12-07T10:51:04Z

Ze boog zo ver voorover

Ze boog zover vooroverdat ik bang was dat ze brak
en ze fluisterde heel zachtjes in m'n oor:
"De rook is hier te snijden, oh ik snak
zo naar frisse lucht."
En ik ben met haar gevlucht.

Buiten op de verlaten boulevard
waait de wind de krullen uit haar haar
meeuwen zeilen als snippers papier
over en onder langs de pier
de avond viel met windkracht elf.

Het had al flink gevroren
er lag ijs in de fontein
ze lachte en ze zei:
"Ik zoek een man
die desnoods op zijn sokken schaatsen kan,"
ik heb urenlang
daar met haar geschaatst.

Zij is overal voor te vinden
en ik ben nergens tegen
we speelden als twee uitgelaten kinderen op het ijs.
Zij is overal voor te vinden
en ik ben nergens tegen
want zij is niet verlegen en ik ben niet goed wijs.

Deze stad is zo lek als een vergiet
het tocht hier en beschutting is er niet
overal is er die snijdende wind
die ons in elk portiek weer vindt
dit is geen stad, dit is een gat.

Om warm te blijven kochten wij een grote zak patat
en we voerden alle meeuwen uit die stad
aan elke vogel vroeg ze heel beleefd
of ie wel voldoende mayonaise had.

Zij is overal voor te vinden
en ik ben nergens tegen
we schreeuwden als twee uitgelaten kinderen naar elkaar.
Zij is overal voor te vinden
en ik ben nergens tegen
de één die ziet ze vliegen en de ander houdt van haar.

Herman van Veen

Something for me, don't bother reading, you won't be interested

2004-12-07T09:24:36Z

Stepping out of the shadows Dec 6 2004

By Jane Hall, The Journal

Type Richard Armitage's name into any internet search engine and you will come up with hundreds of hits.

Unfortunately, few of them will have anything to do with Richard Armitage the actor. Most refer to a senior US politician of the same name.

This is proving frustrating for thousands of women fans. To see how frustrating you just have to log on to the BBC drama message board.

The following is typical: "Help! I have a new crush. I need to feed my addiction to Richard Armitage. Can anyone point me to his website? Signed `Besotted'."

"Richard makes my toes curl in anticipation," adds another. "He's much more exciting than Colin Firth as Darcy."

Other fans are more risque still - it seems that all red blooded women want to talk about is the man playing handsome and charismatic mill owner John Thornton in North and South, the BBC's adaptation of Elizabeth Gaskell's tale of riots and romance in a mid-Victorian cotton town.

But the man in question says he is blissfully unaware of the excitement he is generating

"Oh God," he says. "Are they really saying all that? I have made a point of not reading any reviews. My experience making North and South was so good I don't want it tainted.

"I don't know what to say. I will read it all eventually, but I think I'd better wait until the fuss dies down."

Richard, 33, has certainly struck a chord as Thornton. And it was with a collective sigh of relief from the seven million women who have sat down to watch the four-part drama, that Thornton last night eventually won the heart of feisty and outspoken Margaret Hale.

Many will have no doubt wished they were in former EastEnders star Daniela Denby-Ashe's dainty Victorian shoes when Thornton finally took the woman of his dreams into his arms.

It's a decade since Colin Firth in Pride and Prejudice emerged from a lake dripping-wet and with his breeches sculpted to his body to spark `Darcymania'.

Richard, who fans will be thrilled to hear is currently single ("There is no-one interested as far as I am aware,") says he is "extremely flattered by all the attention." But he seems down to earth enough not to get carried away.

Thornton is but one character played in a career stretching back 12 years and including a stint with the RSC - he played Angus in Macbeth and Delio in the Duchess of Malfi - which brought him to Newcastle.

And while there are elements of Richard's character in Thornton, he says: "He isn't me."

But he adds: "I can see his appeal for women. He is courageous. He has suffered great tragedy in his life and kept his family together. He has this reputation that precedes him, based on his ruthlessness with his workers, and I think that's quite an exciting dynamic to start with.

"But during the course of the story his layers get peeled back and he reveals somebody else inside who is actually quite sensitive and lonely. He needs a lot and he finds it through Margaret.

"That dichotomy between the powerful, almost monstrous, entrepreneur and this kind of vulnerable boy is really exciting to look at."

Like many in his profession Richard has had to wait many years for his big break, and isn't about to get carried away by his newfound fame. North and South represents the actor's biggest role to date - and a part he desperately wanted to get. "I just couldn't get this part out of my head and I kept reading the book. I tortured myself with thinking I hadn't got the part.

"I was one of the first people they saw - and one of the last. They went off in all sorts of directions looking for the character but then it came back around and they decided to go with me, which was great."

Richard was drawn by the fact North and South isn't just a love story in the Pride and Prejudice vein, but an appeal on Mrs Gaskell's part for humanity and understanding between masters and their men.

There is also his family background. "My father is from Leeds, and my mother is from the south.

"My father's family were weavers and spinners. It is where I came from and it was exciting to think I could be a part of it.

"I've also worked in the North a lot, more than anywhere else. My mill was in Keighley where I really found the character."

He was exhaustive in his research of Thornton's character, and looked at the early socialists.

He was also keen to portray Thornton as authentically as possible. "We found an accent which was not a modern city accent, or a country accent. It was old-fashioned, but still an industrial accent."

His own accent couldn't be further removed from Thornton's. A graduate of the London Academy of Music and Dramatic Art, Richard's can best be described as nondescript Southern.

His speech is peppered with jokes and little asides. He seems to enjoy being interviewed but it is a relatively new experience. While he has rarely been short of work he says: "Most of my roles have tended to be contrasting. I'm sort of there in the background."

He is unlikely to remain in the background now.

bumme @ 2004-12-06T13:42:00

2004-12-06T12:43:23Z

After a few listenings I have to say that the new Anouk album is quite good.

And she is pregnant again, that will be the third.
Besides this I don't have much to say.
All I can do is post lyrics and stupid poems
Keep blowing my nose, I have a cold (as usual)
Saw the last episode of North & South on BBC, no not the series with Patrick Zweetzak. I taped it so I can see the happy ending over and over again and again and again. There is nothing better than a happy ending, it brightens up your day.

bumme @ 2004-12-06T09:17:00

2004-12-06T08:14:48Z

HAHAAAAAAAAAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATSJOEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

bumme @ 2004-12-05T14:57:00

2004-12-05T13:59:08Z

And when you're down down
Stand up again
Breathe in.

Some things are better left unsaid. You'll find a nice place to hide them. But days like this. There is just too much going on. So I'm picking up the pieces of my past but I can't find no peace at all. So in other words, I am so ready to be found. So I'll try and I might stand up and fight to leave this place someday. All I need is that moment to make me believe
that you're alive and then I'll be alright.
Paradise grown cold. One hand on my door. Way too high hopes. I can't tell right from wrong. Show me how it's done. Lord I need to be saved and then I'll be alright. On days like this. There is just too much going on. So I try and I might stand up and fight.

My favourite song of the new Anouk album.

2004-12-04T08:40:10Z

Sir can you tell me how to get to Jerusalem
cause I have kinda lost my way
Sir will you help me get there as fast as I can
Tomorrow might be too late
Cause things ain't what they used to be
My love for life is gone you see
Am I fighting things I cannot see
People always telling me how sweet and simple life could be
They say you might as well live before you die
But one thing I know for sure
I am a danger to myself how come
One thing I know for sure
I need some guidance to get me out this hellhole
Jerusalem, can you help me find my way back Jerusalem
It took me quite some time to get into Jerusalem
cause I had kinda lost my way
I want to save me from myself so here I am
I hope it's not too late
cause thing's ain't what they used to be
My love for life is gone you see
Am I fighting things I cannot see
I am so afraid to love
cause of the way I've been hurt before
I think by now it's time for me to leave
Yeah one thing I know for sure
I am a danger to myself how come
I need some guidance to get me out of this hellhole
Jerusalem, can you help me find what I've lost
I don't want to die this way
Wishing that I could turn back time
Wasted time, there is work to be done

bumme @ 2004-12-02T20:19:00

2004-12-02T19:21:15Z

I can't fine my mobile phone.
I wonder why? LOL
Maybe because I haven't used it for months.
Where could it be?

bumme @ 2004-12-02T11:04:00

2004-12-02T10:01:12Z

I try to be so satisfied
with all that surrounds me
hes says, "smile baby,
shut your eyes...
the world can be beautiful
if you'd just let yourself
be surprised."
but once again
I find myself up against
the ranks of love
and rage and life
and there's something almost fundemental
about fighting
for what i think is right

bumme @ 2004-12-01T16:05:00

2004-12-01T15:01:54Z

Sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh